I want a cactus in a cute little pot and I’ll name it after you because you’re a fucking prick.
I am a literature student and I have tears of laughter in my eyes
"Oh, to be toilet paper, that I might touch that cheek."
"Do you wipe your bum at us, sir?"
"No, sir, I do not wipe my bum at you, sir, but I wipe my bum, sir."
"Diarrhea on both your houses!"
"How silver-sweet sound lovers’ toots by night,
Like the softest music to attending ears.”
THIS POST IS THE BEST THING THAT HAS EVER HAPPENED TO ME
yes hello 911 i’m being forced into adulthood and i don’t like it send help
*whispers* you oscar wielding whore ur ded to me
A truly Oscar winning performance.
Finally a happy oscar post, bless your soul